It is here,
My days without you,
Where things in place,
Are not entirely exactly,
Where stuff are said,
Are not entirely exactly,
For I am a trapped haiku.
"The blaze surrounds me,
The thump grows louder again,
I am alone now."
Long live Roxanne!
Long live Roxanne!
They would hail all night,
While I am there outside the lines,
Praying,
That the flame of memory and resolve,
Shall never fade.
Long live Roxanne,
I will whisper and wave,
And smile and cheer on,
And walk away.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's been a hectic week, but I finally managed to materialize my part of the activity (sorry for the delay Kak Zaty). Anyways I'm not that good with a haiku, so instead I decided to merge it with a normal form of poem. It was difficult but I hope I pulled it off. It felt like forever re-drafting this one since I kinda felt so apart with this title, but somehow what I'm feeling now is in sync with this piece and I'm happy it turned out the way it is. Enjoy readers, see you guys again! Sorry for blabbering, ciao~
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Singular Sizzle :: Rain Diary
22/8/93 – With the curious mind of a 4 year old boy, I stared blankly at the falling water coming from the sky. Mom seemed to call this event as ‘raining’ and would never let me outside. So there I was hands gripping rather loosely upon the grill door, forehead leaning gently against the cold steel, looking up at the sky and wondered who was pouring so much water from such a high place. It looked a lot like the shower I always take; only this so called rain falls on a wider area. I want to go outside. Why can’t I go outside? Mom who was watching me dangling at the door this whole time suddenly said; “Do you want to go outside and play in the rain?” My heart lighted up and quickly nodded to the offer. Mom unlocked the door; I slide it open with all my strength and dashed towards downpour. As countless drops pattered on my little body, I could only exclaim a wow and giggled all the way.
16/6/00 – This was the first time in my life I have ever let someone down. Guilt seemed to manifest wildly from within, and I was forced to bear the silence that evening. Today at school I made a promise with my close friend to walk home together. I was supposed to wait at the gate after school. I was supposed to go there directly when the bell rang. But I forgot and took the bus home instead. To make matters worse, it began to rain that entire evening! I still haven’t noticed that I forgot such an important thing; not until I met him that evening at a tuition centre. He was moody, and he was certainly not talking to me. When another friend told me what happened, my heart sank. Not only did I left him alone to wait, he was also forced to walk back home alone under the rain. I made a mistake, a huge mistake. The continuous heavy downpour from outside seemed to be drum rolling the guilt I was dwelling, so much that I could not focus on other tasks. The only thing I could do was say sorry again and again. Oh rainy day, why did I forget?
1/6/01 – Being at a boarding school doesn’t seem so bad. I’ve been away from home for months now and the experience so far was great. But today something interesting happened. It was raining heavily that evening, and my friend and I had to come to our classroom to tidy up a bit. The wind was extremely cold, the atmosphere was damp and we were quite lazy to do any form of sweeping. Feeling bored inside an empty classroom, my friend decided to go check out the other classrooms to see if there were others present within the academic block. I was in no mood to move about, so I let him go on his own. So there I was alone at the back of the classroom staring out the window at the beautiful falling pallets, when she suddenly entered. Of course I knew who this ‘she’ was, but it seemed like I just noticed her existence today. She had a cute frown on her face and she mumbled something as she closed her wet umbrella. Her red dotted kurung matched her red sling bag, and somehow I really like the colour red. There was a magical aura surrounding her as she sat at her seat completely ignoring me, almost like a grumpy fairy suddenly bursting out of nowhere from the mysterious pouring rain. Hey, is this love?
20/10/05 – Ah the last day of school. The time when you are ready to pack all those memories in the heart and go back home. But wait, my friends and I still had another memory to take back on that day. On the spur of the moment, we decided to take one last tour around the school and get ice-cream as the final goal. So thus we began our journey on a windy afternoon. We climbed through all the stairs, peered through restricted areas and went into almost every classroom. By the time we were satisfied with the academic block, we decided to take a stroll around the wardens’ houses which were located near the female’s hostel. Our intention: to make the girls become aware and look at us. But luck wasn’t not on our side. As we made it halfway through the road, it began to rain hard. Within seconds we were drenched and we had to dash towards the nearest cover. The four of us huffed and puffed and tried to take our breath before all of a sudden; all of us burst into laughing. Like they say, cheeky intentions always come with a price. But we still got our ice-cream despite the freezing downpour, so mission accomplished explorers!
2/1/11 – I don’t know why, it always seemed to rain whenever I wanted to see you. Last time you were soaked when you came down to see me. Today when I wanted to pass something to you, the clouds grumbled and churned louder than my nervous heart. I could even feel a few trickles of water as I zoomed towards where you were. But I’m not having any cheeky intentions here; I just wanted to see you. So why must the rain always be there as if stopping me from ever reaching you. Well who cares if I get wet or soaked or get a fever the next day; as long as I get to see you. But when I think about it carefully now, the rain was probably there to always calm me down. Yeah that must be it. I was always flustered and worried and anxious whenever I wanted to see you. Probably, just probably; the rain was always there to wash those feelings away to make room for confidence. And that’s probably why we got a chance to actually meet.
Dear rain, you have always been there at important moments of my life. You have always been there to make me feel more alive. Please continue to be there. And I’ll promise to always watch you by.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's been a while since I wrote something. Thank you to Kak Zaty for wanting to participate in this little activity of writing something under the theme of rain. For me, rain is the best weather there is. I love water, rainy day looks romantic and things seemed to slow down when it rains. My perfect rainy day activity would be sitting by the window eating ice-cream! Haha, anyways hope you guys enjoy this latest piece of mine. I'm a bit rusty lately, so please do bear with me as I try and get my composure back. Until next time readers, take care!
16/6/00 – This was the first time in my life I have ever let someone down. Guilt seemed to manifest wildly from within, and I was forced to bear the silence that evening. Today at school I made a promise with my close friend to walk home together. I was supposed to wait at the gate after school. I was supposed to go there directly when the bell rang. But I forgot and took the bus home instead. To make matters worse, it began to rain that entire evening! I still haven’t noticed that I forgot such an important thing; not until I met him that evening at a tuition centre. He was moody, and he was certainly not talking to me. When another friend told me what happened, my heart sank. Not only did I left him alone to wait, he was also forced to walk back home alone under the rain. I made a mistake, a huge mistake. The continuous heavy downpour from outside seemed to be drum rolling the guilt I was dwelling, so much that I could not focus on other tasks. The only thing I could do was say sorry again and again. Oh rainy day, why did I forget?
1/6/01 – Being at a boarding school doesn’t seem so bad. I’ve been away from home for months now and the experience so far was great. But today something interesting happened. It was raining heavily that evening, and my friend and I had to come to our classroom to tidy up a bit. The wind was extremely cold, the atmosphere was damp and we were quite lazy to do any form of sweeping. Feeling bored inside an empty classroom, my friend decided to go check out the other classrooms to see if there were others present within the academic block. I was in no mood to move about, so I let him go on his own. So there I was alone at the back of the classroom staring out the window at the beautiful falling pallets, when she suddenly entered. Of course I knew who this ‘she’ was, but it seemed like I just noticed her existence today. She had a cute frown on her face and she mumbled something as she closed her wet umbrella. Her red dotted kurung matched her red sling bag, and somehow I really like the colour red. There was a magical aura surrounding her as she sat at her seat completely ignoring me, almost like a grumpy fairy suddenly bursting out of nowhere from the mysterious pouring rain. Hey, is this love?
20/10/05 – Ah the last day of school. The time when you are ready to pack all those memories in the heart and go back home. But wait, my friends and I still had another memory to take back on that day. On the spur of the moment, we decided to take one last tour around the school and get ice-cream as the final goal. So thus we began our journey on a windy afternoon. We climbed through all the stairs, peered through restricted areas and went into almost every classroom. By the time we were satisfied with the academic block, we decided to take a stroll around the wardens’ houses which were located near the female’s hostel. Our intention: to make the girls become aware and look at us. But luck wasn’t not on our side. As we made it halfway through the road, it began to rain hard. Within seconds we were drenched and we had to dash towards the nearest cover. The four of us huffed and puffed and tried to take our breath before all of a sudden; all of us burst into laughing. Like they say, cheeky intentions always come with a price. But we still got our ice-cream despite the freezing downpour, so mission accomplished explorers!
2/1/11 – I don’t know why, it always seemed to rain whenever I wanted to see you. Last time you were soaked when you came down to see me. Today when I wanted to pass something to you, the clouds grumbled and churned louder than my nervous heart. I could even feel a few trickles of water as I zoomed towards where you were. But I’m not having any cheeky intentions here; I just wanted to see you. So why must the rain always be there as if stopping me from ever reaching you. Well who cares if I get wet or soaked or get a fever the next day; as long as I get to see you. But when I think about it carefully now, the rain was probably there to always calm me down. Yeah that must be it. I was always flustered and worried and anxious whenever I wanted to see you. Probably, just probably; the rain was always there to wash those feelings away to make room for confidence. And that’s probably why we got a chance to actually meet.
Dear rain, you have always been there at important moments of my life. You have always been there to make me feel more alive. Please continue to be there. And I’ll promise to always watch you by.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's been a while since I wrote something. Thank you to Kak Zaty for wanting to participate in this little activity of writing something under the theme of rain. For me, rain is the best weather there is. I love water, rainy day looks romantic and things seemed to slow down when it rains. My perfect rainy day activity would be sitting by the window eating ice-cream! Haha, anyways hope you guys enjoy this latest piece of mine. I'm a bit rusty lately, so please do bear with me as I try and get my composure back. Until next time readers, take care!
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